That’s it. 5 minutes. That’s all I’m allowing myself. 5 minutes a day is all I’m going to allow myself to be sad. I miss my friends, my house, my grocery store (HEB), my Target. I miss being comfortable.
Uprooting and resettling is an uncomfortable business. I needed to run to the store today for a couple necessities. A trip that would have taken me less than an hour at “home” took me twice that today. Why? Because I had no idea where to find anything in the store!!! Why can’t every Target, Wal-Mart and grocery store across the country be set up identically?!
I’m not going to try to sugarcoat the way I feel. That’s not who I am. Today was a tough day. I can’t explain exactly why. It just was. I was on the verge of tears most of the day. I guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed and tired and a little lonely (Mark’s consulting in TX this weekend).
I know it’s natural for me to feel the way I do. There are plenty of people in the church world who would never admit to sadness or difficulties, but I’m here to tell you that sharing your burdens with others is what will help get you through them. I tried for years to be the pastor’s wife that “had it all together” and that led me down a lonely, sorrowful path. Once I learned to trust a handful of Godly friends with my yucky stuff, God used them and His Word to grow me and encourage me and make me better through it all.
One of those girlfriends of mine, Christi, signed every box she packed at my house with a Bible verse reference when she labeled the box. This morning as I was unpacking a box I saw the reference for Zephaniah 3:17, so I looked it up. It says, “For the Lord your God is living among you, He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” He is living among my mess of boxes and upheaval. He will take delight in me and calm my fears. Wow. This is why I only need 5 minutes a day to have my little cry, because I know that He promises to take care of my family and me. Besides, I’ve got a whole lot of work to get done. There’s no time for pity parties.